Don't Ever Let Fear Stop You.

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting in the large dining room of a nursing home, trying to take deep, calming breaths.  It was my second week volunteering there.  Last week, I just showed up with a group from Y-Serve (BYU's service organization) without realizing that the purpose of the visit was to perform something. It's called Utah Healing Arts, in fact. 

Last week I brought nothing.  This week, I brought some piano sheet music.

I sat in the back, trying to breathe deeply through my mouth, trying to forget the funky smell that was in the air, pep talking myself while my fellow BYU students played the guitar, sang, and even hula danced. 

I was the last person to perform.  I stepped up to the grand piano and shakily arranged my music, apologized to the wheelchair-bound crowd for my stage fright, and then began.

I knew the song very well, but my mind was foggy and my fingers were tensed, and I hit wrong note after wrong note.  Awkward pauses and disjointed transitions littered the air as my notes jumbled all over each other.  I just kept playing until the last note, nodded at the applause of wrinkled hands, gave a smile and eagerly sat down.

"Oh well," I thought.  I did my best, and that was okay.  The thing is, I knew I was going to be nervous, and I knew I hadn't practiced that song in a while, but I wanted to do it anyway.  I just wanted to contribute something. And I did!  So it was enough to make me happy.

As we were leaving, I began going around to say goodbye to everyone.  An old man in a wheelchair with a breathing tube in his nose took both of my hands and complimented me on my piano-playing.  Then he looked right at me and said, in a wheezy voice, "Don't EVER let fear stop you from doing something."

So I just wanted to say to that man:  Thank you.  And I will definitely try.

A Handshake I'll Always Remember.

On Thursday, Kirsi and I drove to Salt Lake City to do baptisms for the dead in the Salt Lake temple (my first time inside!) and afterwards we walked around the Joseph Smith building next door.

We went up to the second floor to look at the beautiful architecture, and then Kirsi pointed down into the lobby and said "Look!" I looked, and saw Elder Richard G. Scott and Elder L. Tom Perry walking below! We were excited. Man, we were lucky to see a real live apostle so close, we thought.

We walked around the corner of the second floor, and I was taking a picture of chandeliers (above) when one of the large doors opened and a man came through it. He said, "these doors are heavy!" and then "hello sisters!"

He looked really familiar. It took me about 3 entire seconds. One mississippi--two mississippi--three mississippi. It was Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles.

Kirsi and I said nothing. Literally, we just stood there and said nothing. He reached out and shook both of our hands and smiled at us and said "nice to meet you!" and then rushed off to the elevator.

We both turned bright red and started laughing and had to cover our mouths with our hands until he had walked out of ear shot because we were so startled and excited. We met an apostle!! He shook our hand!! It's borderline embarrassing that we were so shocked, but hey, I didn't expect to go from photographing a chandelier to standing face- to-face with an apostle in 2 seconds flat.

It was the best ever. I recorded the whole experience thoroughly in my journal so I can tell my children about it.

If you are not understanding what an apostle is or why this is a big deal to me, no worries, I will explain! I believe in modern-day revelation; I believe that Heavenly Father still speaks to his children through personal revelation and through prophets. In the LDS church, we have a prophet and apostles. There are twelve apostles, just like Jesus had twelve apostles when he was ministering to people long ago. We believe they are called by God to lead our church. That's why I was so excited to meet one of the 12 apostles who leads our church today. I believe that he was called by God.

This weekend, the prophet and apostles and other church leaders are speaking to us. I invite everyone to listen, no matter who you are or what you believe. I promise that their messages are full of peace and hope.

Amy and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day.

It's 10:30 a.m. on a Thursday right now. I slept four hours last night. I was writing a stupid paper. Dumb paper. It was on a literacy theory that I didn't even like. Dumb paper.

Then I woke up late this morning, and my eyes were burning really bad. Like, really bad. I put in my contacts and it stung like crazy. Like, really stung. And my hair looked awful, so I tried to straighten it, but I gave up and threw on my clothes and began to walk to class.

I walked all the way down the stairs at my apartment complex before I realized it was raining. So then I walked all the way back up the stairs and back into my apartment and into my room to get my umbrella. It had stopped raining by the time I stepped back outside. I ran down the stairs and stepped in a huge puddle at the bottom so that one leg got all wet.

I ate two granola bars for my breakfast as I walked, and then my throat got really dry, so I pulled out my water bottle from my backpack just as I summited the massive hill. Except I dropped the water bottle, and the lid popped off and all the water rushed out and began gushing down the walkway, and all the people behind me had to dodge the water and it was really embarrassing. Then I had to chase my water bottle down the hill because it was rolling, and when I picked it up, all the water had fallen out and the spout where my mouth goes was covered in dirt anyways. I was really thirsty, too.

By the time I got to class, I was an entire ten minutes late and my hair was crazy and my nose was sniffly and my pant leg was still wet. We were doing presentations.

Right before it was my turn to present, something got in my contact lens, like a piece of grit or something, and I had to blink like crazy but I couldn't get it out, so I just presented my theory with a piece of grit in my eye. And my voice kept cracking because I was tired. And now, class is over and I'm sitting in a vending machine room drinking chocolate milk thinking about what a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day this is turning out to be.


You've read that book, right? Well not Amy, but Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day. I was just thinking about it because we read it in my drama class last week and talked about it last night.

I mean, poor Alexander! First of all, he woke up with gum in his hair and that's awful! And he didn't even get a prize in his cereal box, and his best friend decides to demote him to third best friend, and he gets a cavity and then at bedtime, he has to wear his railroad pajamas. And he hates his railroad pajamas. Like, really hates them.

It really was a bad day, and he didn't forget it. He wouldn't let himself forget it.

But you know how Shakespeare said that a rose by any other name smells as sweet? I disagree. If you call a rose a mucky-rotten-scum pocket you will probably think it smells a little less sweet. And if you call a bad day "bad" it's going to be bad, and when you call a bad day "good," it might be at least mediocre.

So I'm embracing my mediocre day, thankful that I get to go to my world religions class with the amazing professor who is possibly my favorite ever at BYU. And I get out of class at 1:30 and don't even have any commitments this afternoon so I can take a good nap in my warm bedroom with my new space heater.

This is turning out to be a pretty good, acceptable, semi-decent, all right day. And I'm gonna enjoy it.

Christmas Wish List

If you still haven't bought me a Christmas present, don't worry. It's never too late!! In case you just can't decide what to get me, I've decided to provide a list of ideas for some delightful gifts.

Edible Bling Spray:
I think a gangsta like me should be blingin' all the time...
ESPECIALLY while eating.
Every food item deserves a little edible bling bling!

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Portable Tissue Dispenser:
With my fragile immune system, it's likely that I'll sustain a cold within the next few months.
This contraption would help me avoid that unsightly runny nose on campus this semester!
So much swagger.

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Moody Chair:
The world is a dark, cold place.
Please buy me a chair/ bed that will swallow me whole in warmth.
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Oreo Milk Dippers:
I have been waiting for these my entire life.
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A Puppy:
Pretty pleaaaaase?
I'd walk it every day.
Most the time. Maybe.
But I'd snuggle with it every day for sure.
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Merry Christmas to all of y0u!! I sincerely hope you have a warm and happy Christmas day with ones that you love. Aww.