Utah in the Springtime

Editor's note: these pics are for real. like, fo sho f'realz.


This is the hill south of campus as I was walking to class yesterday at 11 am.




This is the hill south of campus (from the other side) as I was walking home from class at 1:45 pm.

That's less than 3 hours for those of you who failed math.

HOLY WEATHER WHIPLASH.

A few hours later, it was sunny one minute and literally snowing the next while the sun was still shining (!!!!). Utah, you will be the death of me.

On Being Really Cold.

This morning when I was walking to class at 7:45 am, I checked my phone and it said it was 8 degrees.

Then I cried. (JK. I would have but the tears would have frozen anyway.)

I was wearing 3 shirts, a thick sweatshirt, my warmest parka, a thick knit hat pulled down low, gloves, and two pairs of thick socks with my insulated snow boots. So overall, I was doing okay warmth wise, I would say, other than the sensation that someone was repeatedly slapping me across the face.

Except that they don't really make any winter gear for your tongue, which truly is a shame. I don't recall ever having this experience, but I literally thought my tongue was freezing inside my mouth as I walked. When the cold air came into contact with my tongue, it felt like it was going to turn into an icicle. So that was fun.

via pinterest

I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THE COLD. Just putting that out there. It truly baffles me to this day. When I'm cold, my entire face turns red, and not "cute rosy cheeks" kind of red, but like, "straight up skin disease" red. And my nose instantly runs like crazy and then my eyes water so much that it looks like I walk around campus sobbing, and when I see friends they seem concerned, but I can't assure them that I'm fine, because sometimes my lips get really numb and its hard for me to talk normally.

UGHHHH.

But I really am getting better. My first year living in Utah, I was really miserable when the earth turned into a frozen wasteland. I think it's because being really, really cold was such a foreign feeling to me that my instinct was to panic and assume that I was going to die.

But now that I know that cold air won't kill me, I think I'm okay. I am even trying to have a positive attitude about it. I think it even lasted about 10 minutes, up until I thought my tongue was frozen over.

Someone please knit a tongue mitten for me. I will love you.

The little things...

Just when I thought I would abandon the outside world forever and hibernate for the winter like a little anti-social babushka who cries at the sight of snow, HALLELUJAH IT WAS WARM TODAY!

Well... "warm"....

Like 50 degrees warm.

I wore shorts and flip flops to the park. And took a nap out on the grass with my roommates.

helloooo stranger..

It was probably actually too cold for that since our toes got a little numb.... But we did it anyways. Gotta live up the days that you can go outside and still feel your face.! Har har..

For me, its really the little things that make me happy. Like sunshine, chocolate milkshakes, and boys that treat you nice. And Sonic Limeades, BYU basketball games and sleeping in. They all make me incredibly happy.

It doesn't hurt that my birthday is this week. I'm a big birthday fan. BIG. I look forward to birthdays all year... not only my birthday, but everyone's birthday! Birthdays make me feel like this:




What a gem.

My birthday is in FOUR days. I am proud of myself for not starting a countdown after Christmas, because that is what I usually do. This year, I'm taking it as it comes. Even though I'm scared about not being a teenager anymore, birthdays are still awesome. A day just for you, with cake and presents and good friends? I'm so excited.

Although.. you know whats not cool?


Really weather? Sunshine all week and then snow on my birthday? You're killin' me.

Happy My-Pre-Birthday-Week everyone! Its a big deal.

Someone Kick Me.

I thought it was a great idea to drop my morning classes for afternoon ones. Having time to get ready, eating a nutritious breakfast, studying each morning before class... what a life that would be, thought I. What happiness would be mine, I mused. What joy and satisfaction I would find in life once I wasn't rushed in the mornings, I declared.

FALSE.

Hey guys. I am slowly turning into a hermit. Its not cool. I apologize. There's this thing where its freezing cold outside and I sleep until 11 am everyday and eat breakfast at noon and STILL show up to my 1 pm class with wet hair. I am a hobo.

Sleep Schedule:
Midnight: Get ready for bed. Set alarm for 8 am, because I'm going to be at the library by 9!
1 am: Go to sleep.
8 am: Turn off alarm. I'm having an awesome dream!
9 am: Stagger out of bed. Get punched in the face with a feeling of death. Get back into warm bed.
10 am: Get out of bed and stumble towards the shower. Remember the frozen wasteland that is outside. Back to the haven of my covers! They never do me wrong.
11 am: Wake up again. Realize with disgust that I have been sleeping for ten hours. I'm so getting up. In ten minutes.
Noon: Get ready for the day.

I think a good swift kick to my head would do me wonders... any takers? If this goes on I'm going to turn into a thirty-year-old who never changes out of her pajamas and lives with eight cats and eats ramen for every meal.

I love myself so much right now.

That is all.

Who Likes January Anyways?

I will tell you ahead of time that there is absolutely no point to this post, except to celebrate the fact that January is over and it is now February. I mean, what good is January? Its pretty much the worst month of the whole year.

Lets examine the facts:

1. It is like December, except there is no Christmas, no lights to make the snow seem festive, and no presents.
2.The earth becomes a frozen wasteland , and once again, with no redeeming factors like gingerbread houses or decorated houses to warm your soul.
3. There is nothing fun to have a party about in January.

Those are my unbiased, substantial reasons for why January sucks.

But then again, I don't want to make January feel too bad, so I decided to make a list of good things about this month:

1. Martin Luther King day.
2. The State of the Union Address? Always a highlight of everyone's year, right? No?
3. New Years Resolutions... that are probably broken by now...
4. It is National Bath Safety Month, National Oatmeal Month, and National Braille Literacy Month!! I hope you bathers weren't too reckless now, ya'hear??

No one should have to work that hard to find good things about a month.

Hurrah for February!! Month of Love, Valentines, Presidents Day, Becoming Closer to Warm Weather, and, most importantly, my birthday!!

On an unrelated note, I would like to apologize for the lack of pictures on my blog as of late... I decided to use Google Images more sparingly... perhaps I will actually take pictures with my camera? Do people actually do that? Impressive.

Robert Frost is my homeboy.

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

Robert Frost is totally my homeboy. I know hes being figurative, but sometimes I feel like my world is ending when it looks like this outside:





Don't call me a drama queen. My hair froze into icicles this morning and I'm not okay with it.

Thanks for the Backup Hometown!

I really hate the cold. And now it is DANG cold here.

I seriously feel like curling up into a little ball and sleeping all day under 18 fuzzy blankets when it is freezing cold outside. I want to cry a million tears when my face is numb from walking home. A little part of my soul dies with every snowflake that falls.

What do my friends at school say when I whine and complain?


"Oh, its not that bad."

"You're just being dramatic!"

"Its beautiful, you just have to appreciate it!"

"Cry baby."


What do all the people in my home ward say about the cold when I visit Las Vegas?


"Oh you poor thing going to school up in the cold!"

"Snow is the worst! I hope you're keeping warm!"

"I bet its so nice to come home away from that awful cold weather!"

"You're so brave, I don't know how you do it!"


I always knew I loved Las Vegas people the most. Thanks for keeping it real hometown peeps!

Intensity

The past few days, I have totally been livin' on the edge like you guys wouldn't believe. No one better tell me my life isn't full of adventure because it TOTALLY is now.

First of all, my mom and I caught a matinee of Harry Potter the other day. And when the concessions girl asked if we wanted to upgrade to a large popcorn for just 50 cents more.... We... said.... YES.

Then my family went to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas concert thinking it would be a great way to usher in the holiday spirit. It turned out to be more heavy-metal head banging than Christmas spirit. We couldn't hear for a while afterward. Totally rock and roll. Super intense.

On Sunday my sister and I started driving back up to Provo and we hit major snow 10 miles from Cedar City. It took an hour to travel those 10 miles to Cedar and then we got stuck in the snow. And who got out and helped a kind man push our car out of the snow? This girl! Totally didn't succeed though but I am proud nonetheless.

We stayed the night in Cedar because the road conditions were just too bad and it was getting dark. We ate at a Sizzler that had food poisoning written all over it. Don't tell us we're not dangerous, we totally are.

Our lovely monochromatic meal. We ate all of it drenched in ketchup. Including the soggy toast.

We ate our sketchy chicken doused in an ocean of ketchup (definitely helped, couldn't even tell it was chicken) and then turned in at a motel.

Early Monday we braved the Utah roads again. It was so cold the windshield wiper fluid kept freezing. This was a problem. The upside is that we got to see almost every gas station from Cedar to Provo! And who would want to miss that?

I got back to Provo in the afternoon and then went to the library and wrote a paper for 8 straight hours.

So yeah. Intensity is my middle name. Watch out. I even step on all the sidewalk cracks.

I'm also pretty exhausted so if you need me I'll be in my bed hibernating until winter is over!! Byeee!

Remember when you didn't know what a blog was?

I used to be obsessed with Time magazines. I was always an avid reader, but when I hit my teen years, it was all about current events for me. I read the newspaper every day after school, even the boring articles. I read Time magazine cover to cover every week. I checked CNN.com daily. Obviously I was one of the coolest teens around.

Long ago, when I was probably 13 or 14, I remember lying on my parent’s bed reading their Time magazine. There was an article about an up-and-coming internet phenomenon that I had never heard of. It was called: A BLOG.

I remember being super confused by the article. The concept of a blog was something I just couldn’t understand. I had never even SEEN one. I was so confused by this article that I still remember it five years later.

And now blogging is what I think about when I am in the shower.

Thank you Time magazine.

And thank you readers and fellow bloggers. I got into this blog thing because I love to write and I am having so much fun meeting other funny bloggers and getting new readers! It’s so exciting for a new blogger and I love it! Thanks to Helena over at lifeinthepitts.com for not only inspiring me with her hilariousness but also featuring me this week on her blog! Virtual high-five to you my friend!

I’ll keep reading Time magazine and let you guys know what we can expect to see in the future. Maybe flying cars? Robots that do our laundry? Global warming so drastic that its summertime all year? Because that would be fantastic. Sorry. I’m cold right now.

I trust little old ladies.

Yesterday I was leaving the temple when a nice little old lady started talking to me. She said she liked my shoes, so obviously she had excellent fashion sense for an eighty year old woman. She asked how far I was walking and I said just over a mile and a half… and then she offered me a RIDE!!! In her heated car!! I was super happy because my hair was wet and it was 40 degrees outside, and also I love talking to old grandmas with life experience!! Old people are da bomb!

Well she was a pretty cool grandma, until she asked where I was from and I told her Las Vegas. Then she gave me that “Ohhhh” response that is really annoying and said “Well I’m just so glad you could make it to Utah so you can be around good people!” Ohhh-kaayyy.

Well anyways, I was still pretty psyched that I got a ride home from a nice old lady, so I put it on Facebook thinking everyone would be so happy for me and we’d all feel warm and fuzzy inside and sing songs about rainbows and how there was still good in the world.

But did this happen? NO.

Everyone was freaking out about me getting in a car with a stranger! She was a little grandma people. Like, less than five feet tall, shuffles her feet, drives an old white car, old lady. If I can’t trust the little grandmas in this world, who can I trust??

On a related note, earlier today I went down to my apartment’s creepy basement laundry room and no one even shanked me.

See? My trust in the world is growing DAILY.

No I do not love autumn because I am a jerk like that.

Everyone loves the fall season so much. All I hear these days is "The air is so crisp and cool!" and "Don't you just love the leaves changing colors?"

No. No I do not. Because fall in Utah is a strange phenomenon that I never experienced before last year and I refuse to like it. Mostly because I want it to be summer ALL YEAR LONG. Who needs sweaters when you have shorts? Who needs cute boots when you have flip flops?

PLUS, do you people realize what comes right after fall? Do you?!!! DO YOU!!!!???????

winter.


( SHUDDER. )

But I am starting to face a problem. The truth is, cool air IS pretty nice. And I really like cute fall clothes. And the leaves are pretty.

But thank goodness I am stubborn enough to convince myself that I don't like autumn even though I do!

I do not think this is beautiful at all. Nope. Not at all.

Comforting each other as we mourn the onset of autumn

This is me flailing for help from all of the terrible colored leaves behind me...

Jumping out of pure misery.

Looking at the tree in pure disgust.
(PS: Seven inches of that hair is now gone..)

Sundance in the fall is totally not even breath-taking at ALL!!

So basically...

I am living in denial. Yay me!