I like Mondays. But really.

Last Monday afternoon, Sarah and I were eating strawberry ice cream cones after lunch, and I said, "I dare you to challenge me to blog every day this week," and so she said, "Amy, I challenge you to blog every day this week," and I said, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." Then, I didn't blog once because it was too much pressure. This post is dedicated to you, Sar. Checking my blog daily has finally paid off. (but I'll let you be the judge of that)

Well, it happened once again. Monday rolled around. How was yours? Did you have a "case of the Mondays?"

I think I was born without the "hate Monday gene" in my body, because I love Mondays. They are like the New Years Day of every single week, minus the countdown and sparkling cider (or, you know, champagne, if you roll that way).

I am a huge, huge, huge fan of fresh starts, because I always seem to so desperately need them, and I think that's why New Years makes me unbelievably giddy and Mondays make me feel like the world is at my fingertips. If it's Monday, anything can happen. ANYTHING*.

*not really anything, but certain things can happen such as deciding to forget about the train wreck you were last week.

It doesn't hurt that this semester I only have one short class on Mondays. ha. ha.

Today I cleaned my entire room, I organized my closet, went out to a yummy lunch, tweezed my eyebrows (big deal), and gave myself a much needed manicure.

Then, I went grocery shopping so that I could eat more than just omelettes (in my defense, those babies are full of protein). And tonight, I jammed out to David Archuleta for quite some time and had a webcam sesh in my spiffy clean room.

I even took a multi-vitamin today. I dedicated that moment to my mom.

Guys, Mondays are just delightful, are they not?? Delightful.

In other news, I have become obsessed with Emily Blunt and want to talk exactly like her. British accents are lovely. Updates to come.

In other, other news, I have fully embraced the blogger bun lately. Whatcha think? I wholeheartedly enjoy being my own person, and by that I mean copying the style of everyone around me.


Aaaannd this last one is just because I love: you guys/ embarrassing myself.

Planner Preoccupation

Yesterday morning at 8 am, I arrived at my classroom, opened my backpack and reached around inside. Suddenly, my heart starting racing wildly, my palms began to sweat intensely, and I started to feel a little light headed. I wondered how I would even survive the day.

No, I didn't have a panic attack; I just realized that I left my planner at my apartment!! For the first time this entire semester! It was terrible.

I don't know how it happened, but over the last few busy months, my planner has become like air to me. I NEED IT TO BREATHE. I've always been a planner-nerd, but this semester has seriously killed some brain cells, because I cannot accomplish anything unless it is scheduled in my planner. I carry my planner with me every day to school, to church, even to the grocery store. IT'S STRAIGHT UP SAD.

It's gotten to the point where I think I would roam the streets of Provo with no purpose in life, eating garbage and drinking out of gutters with a perplexed look on my face if I ever lost it.

I hope I never lose it.

today I put eating breakfast on my to-do list. I would not have done it otherwise.

I am convinced that the greatest feeling in the world is checking off a box on your to-do list. The box just stares at you, menacingly blank inside those four, crisp lines, taunting your inability to get things done. But once you finally achieve a task, all your effort culminates into a neat little X. Proof that you are actually a productive human being. Ahhhh. Feels so good.

Confession: sometimes, when it gets to be bedtime, and there are more boxes unchecked than checked on my to-do list, I write in productive things I did and check them off. It makes me feel better about myself.

Shhh....

A Story that Needs to Be Told.

Sorry for the lack of blogging this week. I just started the elementary ed program, and..... phew. Also, I didn't have internet in my new apartment for a week, and the internet company did everything in their power to keep it that way. But, after hours on the phone and a 30 minute drive to talk to someone in person, I prevailed. Boo ya, internet company, boo ya.

But great news! I am guest posting over at a fabulous blog called Stress Case today! It's kinda like a recap of some of my awkward moments. You should all check that out and leave a nice comment. (wink).

Back in this neck of the woods, I have a special treasure of a story for you. It's one that I've often told my friends, but never thought to write.... until NOW. (dun dun dunnnnn).

Have you ever heard the phrase "stranger than fiction"? Yeah. That's my life. I couldn't come up with this stuff.

Two years ago, my wonderful sister Jess and I decided to treat ourselves to manicures on a frosty Provo night, so we headed down to one of the local beauty schools for some shiny fresh nails on the chi-zeap.

oh yeah.

We sat down at their cute little nail stations and began the small talk with our beauty school students. It began well. It really did. We talked about school, the weather, the weather some more....

But then the polite conversation train, not only hit a few rough patches, but de-railed and then exploded into a fiery mass of devastation, not unlike that scene from Anastasia. (But unfortunately hottie Dmitri wasn't there to rescue me)

You should know something about me. I have half thumbnails. Don't freak out. Its okay, I promise. I was born with only half a nail on both of my thumbs. The other side of each nail bed is just skin. It doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother me, and no I'm not an alien. 'sssssallllgoood.

My cute little nail technician was mortified.

"Oh my gosh! Does it hurt??? (No) How did it happen?? (I was born with it) How do you cope?? (normal explanation to normal questions ensue.)"

Then she got pretty creative.

"Do you have phantom pains? Like when someone has to have their leg amputated, they can still feel tinglings where their leg used to be???"

Welp, I can't say I'd heard that one before. (PS, the answer was no... no phantom fingernail pains...)

And then I found out that she was a philosopher too.

"That SUCKS. But at least you were born with it, right?"

"I.... guess so?"

"So then you didn't have to wake up one morning and be all like, 'Gahhhh! I have half-fingernails! I'm so retarded!"

Thanks, beauty school student, for the insight. I would have been mad if I wasn't so focused on biting my lip from exploding from laughter.

It turned out, my cheap manicure kinda sucked. But I'd say it was definitely worth it, because the insights and memories I gained on that special night will live on forevahhh.

What I Wish I Could Write For My Scholarship Essay

Hello world. Right now, I am working on my scholarship essays which are due tomorrow for BYU. Theoretically. In reality, I am surfing youtube and blog hopping like a maniac. I am also listening to crazy dance remixes which is making me feel like I am at a dance club, even though I am really sitting on my bed.

The first scholarship essay prompt states: Please write a brief biographical sketch of yourself.

I am attempting to write something along the lines of: Hi, my name is Amy and I am from Las Vegas and I am going into the Elementary education program because I love children and I am a good citizen of America and a wholesome and honest person and I am going to do great things with my education and I floss my teeth twice a day and exercise regularly and I love puppies blah blah dee blah blaah...

How. Boring.

I feel bad for the people reading these essays. I think we would both be happier if I kept it real. Something like:

What up scholarship crew!! My name is Amy but on the streets they call me A-mizzle and I'm a pretty legit person. I like sleeping, rap songs, going shopping, the beach and cookies and cream ice cream. My favorite movies are Pride and Prejudice and Walk the Line and I am in love with Jimmer Fredette, the basketball player. I struggle with a lot of things in life, like making small talk with people and eating most food items without spilling on myself, but I'm funny, especially when I've had sugar and then I'm downright ridiculicious. My sisters are my best friends, I love Las Vegas, and my favorite color is blue. And I like eating cereal with bananas on top. And milk and oreos. Also, I once had a goldfish that lived for five years... it was crazy. I am generally cranky in the morning and hyper at night. I have special skills like talking in my sleep and being super flexible, but I am terrified of public speaking. And I love to write and I am a pretty good student (most the time) so I TOTES would love any scholarship money you would be kind enough to send my way. Holla!

It just feels more... ME. They want to know me right?

I should stick with the original plan then? Okie doke...

Its Alarming Really...

I struggle with a lot of things, I think that's pretty clear... forming coherent sentences, eating spaghetti, remembering what floor I'm on when I get into an elevator...

But perhaps the thing I struggle with the most is waking up in the morning, because I am most definitely a complete failure at it.

I have church at 9:00 am... I love church and always have a desire to go and be on time and look like I DIDN'T just comb my hair with an eggbeater after putting on clothes from a dumpster. But sometimes this is not the case. Nay... oftentimes this is not the case. Nay... hardly ever is this the case.

Last night I decided to do something about it. I decided to stay home on a Saturday night, go to bed early, and set three alarms for Sunday morning. Take THAT life, I was gonna be on time to church and I was gonna look HOT! Boo ya!

Wakeup time this morning: 8:33 a.m.

I turned off all three alarms in my sleep.

I feel like my readers need to appreciate the dexterity that this entails:

My phone is a touch screen, and to turn off the alarm, one must press firmly on the small floating orb that appears on the screen, get a firm grip on that with one finger, and drag it at just the right angle through an arc.

I know this picture rivals Van Gogh... you are welcome for introducing this beauty into your life.

If I can perform such impressive feats of skill in my sleep, I think I'm going to start taking my exams and going on dates while asleep also. Things can only improve.

What tips do you have for waking up in the morning?

Top Ten Reasons Why Las Vegas is Cooler than Your Hometown

I’m a Vegas girl and proud of it!

Today I am returning to Las Vegas after three months of being away at college, and so I am very excited!! I present to you my Top Ten Reasons Why Las Vegas is Cooler than Your Hometown!

1. Nothing ever closes. Do you want to go grocery shopping at 4 am? Go for it! Want a hamburger at 2 am? Heck yeah ! Want to do anything at any hour of the day? You’re in luck! In Las Vegas, almost everything is open 24 hours a day because so many people work graveyard shifts!

Growing up in Las Vegas, I just assumed everywhere was like this. Until my family would go out of town and things were closed at night and us kids were shocked. Like the time we flew to upstate New York and, with the time change, were hungry for dinner at 11 pm. And all the restaurants were CLOSED. We forgot we weren’t in Vegas. So we ate hot dogs from 7-11. Good times, good times.

2. There are so many random things in your life when you grow up in Las Vegas. Like the pirates from the Treasure Island show coming to your elementary school. And seeing Elvis impersonators in the car next to you at a red light. And spending your prom walking the Strip.

3. Unique job opportunities. Like how I worked at a wedding chapel on the Strip over the summer! Holller!

4. SUNSHINE. It is always sunny! And the weather is so nice all the time, even in the winter time. I am 100% solar-powered!!!! Please pray that I make it through another dark Utah winter this year.

5. Las Vegas is high class and old west all at once. We have high class shopping and fancy restaurants and elaborate hotels and night clubs and a huge gathering of celebrities any given day. But we also have lots of open desert land, horses, country music and cowboys galore too. And I love both vibes.

6. Locals Discounts on Awesome Shows. Las Vegas has AWESOME family friendly shows. And they almost all offer special locals discounts. This is how I have seen amazing shows like the Lion King, the Phantom of the Opera, the Blue Man Group, and Lance Burton, and other cool shows!

7. It just sounds cool. At college, everyone always asks where you are from. It’s okay if you say some small town that no one’s heard of. I will still like you.

But I feel pretty intense when I tell people I’m from VEGAS. And we have a cool sign. (And we are super defensive of our sign when people graffiti it.)

8. Best sunsets ever.



9. Our mayor never makes public appearances without showgirls. Not sure where I’m going with this, except that Las Vegas doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not that I am a supporter of the “sin” part of “Sin City” (because I’m not, sorry) but some other places you go feel really judge-y. Las Vegas people are the best in my opinion!! They take you for who you are and are friendlier than you’d think!

And no one from Vegas has ever tried to shank me, believe it or not.


10. Stay-cations. Most people don’t actually go to the Strip very often. In fact, unless they work there, most people avoid it because it’s where the tourists are. In the end, Las Vegas really is mostly a very normal town to grow up in. When I think of Las Vegas, I think of my house, my old schools, my church, the mountains, the palm trees, and the desert, not the Strip. But the Strip is a fun get-away for special occasions! You almost feel like you’re on vacation within your own town when you go out to eat or to a show down on the Strip!

Aaaand that is my top ten list. Feel free to agree/ disagree/ pass judgment/add to/ discuss any of these points in the comments!

Next stop: Vegas! AKA HOME.

PS "Oh my gosh it’s like Viva Las Vegas over there!" You know who you are and you better comment on my blog or I will hunt you down. Hugs!

Aw Shucks... I've Been Tagged!

No, not with grafitti you sickos. BLOG TAGGED! Whee! I feel very honored. My beautiful, fashionable friend and former FHE sister Kailee tagged me on her blog today and now I am excited (and a little nervous?) to answer her questions. Lets go!

1. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would it be?

The Beatles. (Say it with a British accent though.) My moods in music change daily... some days I am listening to Micheal Buble all day and some days I am jamming to Eminem and hardcore rap. But I am ALWAYS in the mood for the Beatles. Plus, it reminds me of my daddy.



2. Do you/ did you sleep with a stuffed animal and what is it?

Yes? I used to I think. I had a ton of stuffed animals. They were my pretend friends. I think I slept with all of them at one time or another. (Wow that sentence definitely sounds a little trashy... But keep it clean folks.) I remember this purple dragon I used to have that smelled really weird. I really liked it. Nowadays I ALWAYS sleep with this little red Squish pillow*. I cannot sleep unless my arms are wrapped around something.
*Ashley M. likes using this pillow for other purposes bahahahaha.

3. What is your favorite Disney movie?

Cinderella! I just really really love Cinderella stories in general. And I think the Disney classic Cinderella movie is just so beautiful.



4. What is one thing in your life you regret doing or not doing?

I guess I kind of regret not always being more myself because I wasn't sure if people would like me for it. But no one really likes a quiet girl who agrees with everyone anyways. I could have had many more fun times if I'd been my funny self. Truth is, I'm a straight-up gangsta and I'm really fun!

5. What is your favorite thing about blogging?

My favorite thing about blogging is definitely letting my true personality shine through. I love writing. And I am a fun-loving, sarcastic, gangsta person but sometimes I am shy and people don't even realize it. So I am glad more people are able to see me for who I am through this blog. A lot of people have told me they are surprised by my humor... guess they never knew the REAL me!

6. What is one of your most embarrassing moments?

Read this blog and you will find plenty. Grabbing a strange boy's thigh. Falling in a puddle of punch at a wedding reception. Wandering through campus with tears streaming down my face. Not to mention the time I fell into the organ pit up on the stand one time during seminary. And many, many more to come. I know its why you people read my blog! Don't act like you don't get pleasure from my pain!!! ;)

7. If you could change your name to something else, what would it be?

I would really like a gangsta name like A-mizzle Balla Holla Fershizzle so I could legitimately roam the streets of Provo and instill fear in others. Please check out this helpful (and extremely in depth) e-How article on how to create your gangster name. It is a superb resource.

8. What is one of your greatest accomplishments in life?

Hmm, I would have to say the one or two times I woke up early, ate breakfast, legitimately looked decent, and made it to class on time here at BYU over the last year. I have never been prouder. And it hasn't happened in a long, long while. And probably never will again! Holla!

Well, I hope you didn't have to grab your tissue box and hold hands and cry with your nearest friend as you read this post! Oh feelings....

I feel like I was just on Oprah...

Chicken About Birds

Hello, and welcome to another installment of:

Things You Didn’t Know About Me (Or Maybe You Did) (Or Maybe You Didn’t and Now You Do and Wish You Didn’t)

There are many things to fear in this world. Let us make a list. (I like lists, have you noticed?)

Legitimate Things to Fear:

-painful death

-terrorists

-sharks

-kidnappers

-falling from great heights

-getting hit by cars (especially pertinent to college students who walk everywhere and almost get hit by cars in crosswalks on a daily basis)

-snakes

But I fear one thing more than anything on this list:

PIGEONS.

Scariest thing on this planet. Period.

Pigeons are like flying rats that like to swoop towards your head with their large talons. They have red, satanic eyes that look like they want to kill you. The flapping of their wings makes me drop to the ground and cover my head and cry. Pigeons hate us. You can just tell.

The first time I can remember this fear being an issue was when I was at a car wash, the kind where you eat popcorn while you wait for your car to come out. My big sister and I stood outside around all these people eating popcorn while pigeons swooped around and attacked. It was traumatizing.

Also one time a pigeon pooped on me at Disneyland. While I was eating. Pigeons are so evil they are even out to ruin the happiest place on earth.

Luckily my little sister is braver than me, because she would have to escort me from my car into high school if there were pigeons in the parking lot. I can’t even walk towards pigeons. They will fly towards my face and beak me to death, I just know it.

Actually I am scared of most birds because I am not a fan of large flying creatures that carry disease. The sound of flapping wings is the most terrifying sound in the world.

"I want to kill you!"

I just had 5 panic attacks in the last minute looking at this picture.

So there you have it. Pigeons are out to kill me and I would probably rather wrestle an alligator in a snake pit at the top of a 100 story building while being chased by a terrorizing kidnapper than ever come near a pigeon. If anyone has any advice for overcoming this terror, or better yet, would like to volunteer to wipe out the world’s population of pigeons, I will love you FOREVS.

Thanks for tunin’ in!

PS Brownie points to anyone who makes a Ms. Anderson reference in the comments.

Things You Didn't Know About Me: I'm So G I'm Almost H

Hi, and welcome to a brand new series on this blog called:

Things You Didn't Know About Me (Or Maybe You Did.) (Or Maybe You Didn't and Now You Do and Wish You Didn't).


You may be surprised at all the things you didn't even know about me! Unless you are my family. Or a former roommate. Because then you probably know just about everything. At the end of each post, let me know if you learned something new about me!

Today's "Thing You Didn't Know About Me" is:

I'M SO G I'M ALMOST H.

Its true. Maybe you thought of me as a quiet, polite normal young woman. But you are wrong. Especially on the normal part. Deep down inside, I am like Snoop Dog+ Eminem+ Kanye+ Bon Qui Qui. There is this intense gangsta side of me that always wants to get out and bust a cap.

I get random urges to flash gang signs. I like to blast rap in the car. I like to say fo-shizzle and what-up home dog.



I now present you some photographic evidence from the past year. I may be the whitest gangster around. But don't even try to be more gangsta than me. Not possible.

Kanye is ma homeboy.

The ghetto feels like home

So THUG it hurts

Gangsta Runs In the Fam.

A-shizzle+ A-mizzle= Homegirls 4 LYFE.
You should have witnessed our rap battles. EPIC.

When I grow up, I hope to be a gangster elementary school teacher. I'll let you know how that goes.

PEACE OUT FOOLS!