How do you know when you've made it big in the world? Is it when you first see your name up in lights? Is it when you are recognized on the street? Is it when your bank account contains enough moolah to buy a lamborghini?
No my friends, no.
I found out recently that I've made it in the world. Do you want to know how?
Step One: Go to Google Image search.
Step Two: enter "olympic spirit glasses."
Step Three: Click search.
Step Four: Drop your jaw in amazement as you see a picture of me wearing glasses I made out of construction paper posing with a giant birthday cake (from this post.)
I've made it in the world, people.
I'VE MADE IT.
Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrities. Show all posts
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday Night in Vegas.
We sat in traffic on the Strip on Saturday night.
We don't visit the Strip very often--my mom, sisters and I--even as proud Las Vegas natives. We prefer sitting at home watching the Cosby Show and petting our dog and knitting. Okay, not the knitting. Usually.
But Saturday was a special night. It was a special night, because we decided to all get matching skull tattoos and then gamble our life savings.
Okay. I'm kidding.
It was a special night, because a very hot, beautiful and charming man was in town. A man with the voice of a masculine, hunk-of-righteousness angel. And his name rhymes with Mosh Hoban.
Yes, dear readers. Josh Groban. JOSH GROBAN.
Josh Groban is cool, because he sings very well. And he can sing really high and really low, and really loud and other cool singing stuff. And sometimes he sings in other languages. And he has curly hair. And he wears suit coats with jeans. For the above reasons, he is super cool.
So we headed down to the Strip (which, coincidentally, is a surprisingly short drive from our house, and by short, I mean eight minutes), and we passed all the crazy drunk people and drove to the MGM Grand Garden Arena (where, coincidentally, my older sister Jess once saw an N*SYNC concert many years ago, which made me very jealous). And then we walked in and found our seats and got ready to part-ay, surrounded by all the other concert-goers (who were, coincidentally, mostly elderly).
Jess, Sarah and I, doing our best Barney impersonation.
(we're not purple in real life. just in Josh Groban concerts. )
And then Josh Groban came on. And he sang for two hours. And it was beautiful. And I screamed out "Josh! You're so hot!" a few times, and he didn't even hear me.
And since then, we've been listening to Josh Groban all over the house, non-stop. I love him. The end.
We don't visit the Strip very often--my mom, sisters and I--even as proud Las Vegas natives. We prefer sitting at home watching the Cosby Show and petting our dog and knitting. Okay, not the knitting. Usually.
But Saturday was a special night. It was a special night, because we decided to all get matching skull tattoos and then gamble our life savings.
Okay. I'm kidding.
It was a special night, because a very hot, beautiful and charming man was in town. A man with the voice of a masculine, hunk-of-righteousness angel. And his name rhymes with Mosh Hoban.
Yes, dear readers. Josh Groban. JOSH GROBAN.
Josh Groban is cool, because he sings very well. And he can sing really high and really low, and really loud and other cool singing stuff. And sometimes he sings in other languages. And he has curly hair. And he wears suit coats with jeans. For the above reasons, he is super cool.
So we headed down to the Strip (which, coincidentally, is a surprisingly short drive from our house, and by short, I mean eight minutes), and we passed all the crazy drunk people and drove to the MGM Grand Garden Arena (where, coincidentally, my older sister Jess once saw an N*SYNC concert many years ago, which made me very jealous). And then we walked in and found our seats and got ready to part-ay, surrounded by all the other concert-goers (who were, coincidentally, mostly elderly).
Jess, Sarah and I, doing our best Barney impersonation.
(we're not purple in real life. just in Josh Groban concerts. )
And then Josh Groban came on. And he sang for two hours. And it was beautiful. And I screamed out "Josh! You're so hot!" a few times, and he didn't even hear me.
And since then, we've been listening to Josh Groban all over the house, non-stop. I love him. The end.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Letter to Lady Gaga
Today I set out to write a letter to Lady Gaga, much like my Letter to Ke$ha from a ways back. I felt like I needed to work through my feelings about her, but this is as far as I got:
Dearest Lady Gaga,
When I first heard your pumpin' dance club hit "Just Dance," my senior year of high school before anyone knew who you were, I thought you were the bomb dot com. And then I saw the video, and realized you were a a little scary. And since then, well, I feel.......... its just that all of your songs are just so........ you know, but not always so........ well let me back up and say that your outfits are just so...... uh.......wow, I don't the English language contains words to describe meat dresses?
"fear me. this is the meat of a lion that I killed with my bare hands."
And your videos, they...... terrify me? And yet your songs..... just so you know, I never thought...... The only reason you're even famous is because.......well.... uh......
Maybe it will help it I go back and explain that...... uh....... Well the first thing that comes to mind is.......... uhhh...... (crickets chirping).......
In conclusion: LADY GAGA YOU TERRIFY ME AND YET INTRIGUE ME AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.
Regards,
Amy
As you can tell, even this girl of many words could not form words to express her feelings towards Lady Gaga.... If you wrote a letter to Lady Gaga, what would YOU tell her?
Dearest Lady Gaga,
When I first heard your pumpin' dance club hit "Just Dance," my senior year of high school before anyone knew who you were, I thought you were the bomb dot com. And then I saw the video, and realized you were a a little scary. And since then, well, I feel.......... its just that all of your songs are just so........ you know, but not always so........ well let me back up and say that your outfits are just so...... uh.......wow, I don't the English language contains words to describe meat dresses?
"fear me. this is the meat of a lion that I killed with my bare hands."And your videos, they...... terrify me? And yet your songs..... just so you know, I never thought...... The only reason you're even famous is because.......well.... uh......
Maybe it will help it I go back and explain that...... uh....... Well the first thing that comes to mind is.......... uhhh...... (crickets chirping).......
In conclusion: LADY GAGA YOU TERRIFY ME AND YET INTRIGUE ME AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.
Regards,
Amy
As you can tell, even this girl of many words could not form words to express her feelings towards Lady Gaga.... If you wrote a letter to Lady Gaga, what would YOU tell her?
Monday, May 2, 2011
No Longer Twitterpated, Thanks to Twitter.
How to obliterate your celebrity crush 101:
Subscribe to their twitter feed on your phone! You will eventually hate them.
Yes friends, it is what it seems. Sometime, many months ago, I figured out that David Archuleta had a twitter page and decided it would be cool to have his tweets sent to my phone so I could follow the happenings of my future husband.
At first it was a novelty and really fun, and I felt cool getting tons of text alerts to my phone. Also, it gave me opportunities to say things like: "Oh, David Archuleta just texted me, no big." and confuse people.
Then, I got bored of hearing about where he ate lunch and what city he was in and what he was feeling and at what hockey game he sang the national anthem.
And then after one too many middle of the night tweets that woke me up, I became violently frustrated every time I received a Twitter update but I couldn't figure out how to make them stop.
So now, I just feel angry every time I hear the name "David Archuleta."
Tonight, the twitter and the twitterpation ENDS!!
I know you're sad and hurt David. So am I. But don't worry, your cute little 12 year old face and your soulful teeny-bopper songs will remain in my heart forever.
P.S. Jimmer Fredette recently began an official Twitter page, and I am tempted to follow, but I fear the same sequence of events may occur!! Is it too big of a risk?
Subscribe to their twitter feed on your phone! You will eventually hate them.
Yes friends, it is what it seems. Sometime, many months ago, I figured out that David Archuleta had a twitter page and decided it would be cool to have his tweets sent to my phone so I could follow the happenings of my future husband.
At first it was a novelty and really fun, and I felt cool getting tons of text alerts to my phone. Also, it gave me opportunities to say things like: "Oh, David Archuleta just texted me, no big." and confuse people.
Then, I got bored of hearing about where he ate lunch and what city he was in and what he was feeling and at what hockey game he sang the national anthem.
And then after one too many middle of the night tweets that woke me up, I became violently frustrated every time I received a Twitter update but I couldn't figure out how to make them stop.
So now, I just feel angry every time I hear the name "David Archuleta."
Tonight, the twitter and the twitterpation ENDS!!
I know you're sad and hurt David. So am I. But don't worry, your cute little 12 year old face and your soulful teeny-bopper songs will remain in my heart forever.P.S. Jimmer Fredette recently began an official Twitter page, and I am tempted to follow, but I fear the same sequence of events may occur!! Is it too big of a risk?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
You Got Jimmered!
Two words: JIMMER FREDETTE.
Unless you aren't at BYU, don't follow college basketball, or are living under a rock, you know that last night two top ten basketball teams went head to head here in Provo. #4 San Diego State VS. #9 BYU. The hype was incredible. Monumental. Electric. It was the biggest game in the country this week.
I don't know why I even went to class yesterday. All I have been doing with my life lately is reading articles about basketball. Its all over Time Magazine, ESPN, the Wall Street Journal.
I didn't get into the game at the Marriott Center. SAD. I know. It was a combination of being too sick to camp out and misinformed about the process. But its ok. I watched it with good friends in the Wilk, and the crowd there was even crazy. AND WE WON!!! It was pretty huge.
Jimmer Fredette alone scored 43 points. Everyone has always loved him, but last night was a turning point.
HE IS NOW ROCKSTAR STATUS.
One of the best things about Jimmer, besides his ability to shoot 3-pointers 40 feet out, his over 90 percent free throw rate, and his ranking as #1 scorer in the nation, is his beautiful name. It can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, AND EVEN an adverb!!
Starting today, I am making it a priority in my life (and I challenge each of you to do the same) to use the word Jimmer in my everyday conversations as much as possible. To get you started and give you ideas, here are some tips on usage:
AS A NOUN: A Jimmer is anything epic, legendary, impressive, breath-taking, and/ or life-changing.
Examples:
Friend 1: I just ran a marathon!
Friend 2: Way to pull a Jimmer!
"My boyfriend just proposed!!! Its been a Jimmer of a day."
"I love the feeling of success. Its a Jimmer Moment."
AS A VERB: To Jimmer something means to completely beast it, to crush the competition, to beat all odds. Its even in the Urban Dictionary! Now that makes it official.
Examples:
"You got Jimmered!" *clap clap clapclapclap* (at every basketball game in with Jimmer humbles the competition)
"I totally Jimmered that test today! Yeah!"
"I have a massive paper due tomorrow. I'm just gonna JIMMER it all the way!"
AS AN ADJECTIVE: Used to describe something completely amazing, mind-blowing and crazy.
Examples:
"Those are some Jimmer skills!"
"Did you see him shoot the ball from half court last week!? It was totally a Jimmer shot!"
"I'm so righteous, I'm Jimmerful."
AS AN ADVERB: Here's where it gets good. When someone asks HOW something is going, here is the progression:
horribly
badly.
ok.
fine.
good.
great.
excellently.
wonderfully.
marvelously.
fantastically.
ecstatically.
superbly.
mind-blowingly incomprehensibly magically.
JIMMERLY.
YEAH BOI!!!
Its going to take some work, but in no time Jimmer will not only be a basketball hero, but also an integral part of the English language!! Make it happen peeps!
Unless you aren't at BYU, don't follow college basketball, or are living under a rock, you know that last night two top ten basketball teams went head to head here in Provo. #4 San Diego State VS. #9 BYU. The hype was incredible. Monumental. Electric. It was the biggest game in the country this week.
I don't know why I even went to class yesterday. All I have been doing with my life lately is reading articles about basketball. Its all over Time Magazine, ESPN, the Wall Street Journal.
I didn't get into the game at the Marriott Center. SAD. I know. It was a combination of being too sick to camp out and misinformed about the process. But its ok. I watched it with good friends in the Wilk, and the crowd there was even crazy. AND WE WON!!! It was pretty huge.
Jimmer Fredette alone scored 43 points. Everyone has always loved him, but last night was a turning point.
HE IS NOW ROCKSTAR STATUS.
One of the best things about Jimmer, besides his ability to shoot 3-pointers 40 feet out, his over 90 percent free throw rate, and his ranking as #1 scorer in the nation, is his beautiful name. It can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, AND EVEN an adverb!!
Starting today, I am making it a priority in my life (and I challenge each of you to do the same) to use the word Jimmer in my everyday conversations as much as possible. To get you started and give you ideas, here are some tips on usage:
AS A NOUN: A Jimmer is anything epic, legendary, impressive, breath-taking, and/ or life-changing.
Examples:
Friend 1: I just ran a marathon!
Friend 2: Way to pull a Jimmer!
"My boyfriend just proposed!!! Its been a Jimmer of a day."
"I love the feeling of success. Its a Jimmer Moment."
AS A VERB: To Jimmer something means to completely beast it, to crush the competition, to beat all odds. Its even in the Urban Dictionary! Now that makes it official.
Examples:
"You got Jimmered!" *clap clap clapclapclap* (at every basketball game in with Jimmer humbles the competition)
"I totally Jimmered that test today! Yeah!"
"I have a massive paper due tomorrow. I'm just gonna JIMMER it all the way!"
AS AN ADJECTIVE: Used to describe something completely amazing, mind-blowing and crazy.
Examples:
"Those are some Jimmer skills!"
"Did you see him shoot the ball from half court last week!? It was totally a Jimmer shot!"
"I'm so righteous, I'm Jimmerful."
AS AN ADVERB: Here's where it gets good. When someone asks HOW something is going, here is the progression:
horribly
badly.
ok.
fine.
good.
great.
excellently.
wonderfully.
marvelously.
fantastically.
ecstatically.
superbly.
mind-blowingly incomprehensibly magically.
JIMMERLY.
YEAH BOI!!!
Its going to take some work, but in no time Jimmer will not only be a basketball hero, but also an integral part of the English language!! Make it happen peeps!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Love Triangle
So much angst. And confusion within my soul. Who knew falling in love with two different men could be so painful?
Guys. Its like I'm living in a soap opera.
I have promised my love to my soul mate David Archuleta, but then I keep watching BYU basketball and Jimmer Fredette is slowly stealing my heart....
I've always had a crush on him... but now its something more...
His cut biceps.
His confidence on the court.
The way he can't stop laughing when his dunk goes awry.
His humility.
His adorable smile.
Not to mention the 47 points he scored in yesterdays game and this 40 foot shot on the buzzer:
I was planning to just be in love with them both, but my friend Kelsey informed me the other day that I need to make a decision between the two!!!
How could I possibly decide? They are both so irresistible in their own way!!
David rocks out righteously and has the soulful voice of 4,000 angels.
Jimmer can shoot 3 pointers from a different zipcode.
David has an adorable face and is an all-around cutie pie.
Jimmer is a BEAST ATHLETE.
David is kind of short....
Jimmer can jump like no ones biz...
Well, its just not fair to compare the two. They both have their own talents.
But right now, Jimmer definitely has my heart.
Sorry David.... I hate to say this but, we need to take a break. We need to have time to explore, and maybe see where we are in a little while, maybe after basketball season?? Its not you. Its me. And Jimmer.
Tune in next time to see what happens in the love triangle between Amy, Jimmer, and David on:
As the World Turns Boldly and Beautifully with the Young and Restlessly In Love who are Generally Hospitable...
I need to go to bed and stop eating sugar...
Guys. Its like I'm living in a soap opera.
I have promised my love to my soul mate David Archuleta, but then I keep watching BYU basketball and Jimmer Fredette is slowly stealing my heart....
I've always had a crush on him... but now its something more...
His cut biceps.
His confidence on the court.
The way he can't stop laughing when his dunk goes awry.
His humility.
His adorable smile.
Not to mention the 47 points he scored in yesterdays game and this 40 foot shot on the buzzer:
I was planning to just be in love with them both, but my friend Kelsey informed me the other day that I need to make a decision between the two!!!
How could I possibly decide? They are both so irresistible in their own way!!
David rocks out righteously and has the soulful voice of 4,000 angels.
Jimmer can shoot 3 pointers from a different zipcode.
David has an adorable face and is an all-around cutie pie.
Jimmer is a BEAST ATHLETE.
David is kind of short....
Jimmer can jump like no ones biz...
Well, its just not fair to compare the two. They both have their own talents.
But right now, Jimmer definitely has my heart.
Sorry David.... I hate to say this but, we need to take a break. We need to have time to explore, and maybe see where we are in a little while, maybe after basketball season?? Its not you. Its me. And Jimmer.
Tune in next time to see what happens in the love triangle between Amy, Jimmer, and David on:
As the World Turns Boldly and Beautifully with the Young and Restlessly In Love who are Generally Hospitable...
I need to go to bed and stop eating sugar...
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Tale of an Elevator and a Star Quarterback
I don't know why people give me any credit for this blog. I swear, it writes itself most days.
Two days ago, I was coming from the bookstore on the third floor of the Wilkinson Center (BYU's student center) carrying a box of books I had just picked up.... Well, "carrying" sounds too graceful.. How about "grunting like a man under the weight of the TWENTY heavy books I had to buy for classes."
No lie, I'm positive there was grunting involved. It was a dang heavy box.
I hit the elevator button with my elbow, proud at how well I was managing.
Then Jake Heaps and his girlfriend walked over and it all went downhill.
Jake Heaps: BYU football hero.
THE Jake Heaps: Freshman quarterback extraordinaire.
Yes..... the Jake Heaps that broke every BYU freshman quarterback record, the Jake Heaps that threw game-winning football passes that brought BYU out of it's slump this football season.
I wanted to say something to him.
Something like, "Hey nice job throwing all those passes!" or maybe "You rock Jake Heaps!"
I found myself standing in an elevator with him. And his cute girlfriend. And my extremely heavy box. And I knew it would not go well.
"Umm.... can you hit three for me?"
"Uhh.... well we're actually on three," said the cute girlfriend. I have this problem way too often.
"Oh! Haha! Yeah I meant two! Haha. Ha. Ha. He...." said I.
"Ok," she said with a smile.
"Yeah, I always get confused!!" I said.
***awkward silence****
I could feel myself blushing as red as a tomato as I struggled under the weight of my unwieldy box. My arms were seriously trembling as I held the dang thing. So much for even bringing up my admiration for the football star standing in the elevator with me...
Then, Jake Heaps himself said with a friendly smile, "That's okay, I get confused too!"
I smiled at him. The elevator doors opened and I rushed out.
Jake Heaps: Football extraordinaire. BYU celebrity. But above all, kind citizen of the world, even with a flustered girl in an elevator who can never keep track of what floor she's on.
I am an even bigger Jake Heaps fan than before.
Two days ago, I was coming from the bookstore on the third floor of the Wilkinson Center (BYU's student center) carrying a box of books I had just picked up.... Well, "carrying" sounds too graceful.. How about "grunting like a man under the weight of the TWENTY heavy books I had to buy for classes."
No lie, I'm positive there was grunting involved. It was a dang heavy box.
I hit the elevator button with my elbow, proud at how well I was managing.
Then Jake Heaps and his girlfriend walked over and it all went downhill.
Jake Heaps: BYU football hero.
THE Jake Heaps: Freshman quarterback extraordinaire.
Yes..... the Jake Heaps that broke every BYU freshman quarterback record, the Jake Heaps that threw game-winning football passes that brought BYU out of it's slump this football season.
I wanted to say something to him.
Something like, "Hey nice job throwing all those passes!" or maybe "You rock Jake Heaps!"
I found myself standing in an elevator with him. And his cute girlfriend. And my extremely heavy box. And I knew it would not go well.
"Umm.... can you hit three for me?"
"Uhh.... well we're actually on three," said the cute girlfriend. I have this problem way too often.
"Oh! Haha! Yeah I meant two! Haha. Ha. Ha. He...." said I.
"Ok," she said with a smile.
"Yeah, I always get confused!!" I said.
***awkward silence****
I could feel myself blushing as red as a tomato as I struggled under the weight of my unwieldy box. My arms were seriously trembling as I held the dang thing. So much for even bringing up my admiration for the football star standing in the elevator with me...
Then, Jake Heaps himself said with a friendly smile, "That's okay, I get confused too!"
I smiled at him. The elevator doors opened and I rushed out.
Jake Heaps: Football extraordinaire. BYU celebrity. But above all, kind citizen of the world, even with a flustered girl in an elevator who can never keep track of what floor she's on.
I am an even bigger Jake Heaps fan than before.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The Day I Met David Archuleta: THE SEQUEL
Oh hey.
Yeah. I met David Archuleta today!!!! Again. So I guess my plan is to just go get his autograph as many times as it takes to get him to fall in love with me. Great plan, huh?
Proof.
The CD signing was at this little store in the mall and it wasn't even crowded, but the security people were CRAZY. They wouldn't let anyone stand within like a 20 foot perimeter of the store. They told me I couldn't even take a picture of David. But I did anyways. Gotta be a rebel sometimes!
Those ladies around him meant business...
Had to take a pic with the sign because I didn't get one with him. LAME.
Thanks to my friend Marci for inviting me to go along with her!!!!
I wasn't even nervous this time. It was like I was just talking to some boy I knew. He's a really chill person. But I didn't really say anything that interesting in the 10 seconds I had to talk to him.
How exactly is a girl to convey in a few sentences that "Hey! I'm a fan of yours and I think you're really cute and humble and we are actually the same age and have a lot in common, and I'm a fairly normal person and not a 12 year old fan like these other crazies and I think we should hang out sometime and possibly get married for all eternity" ??
What I really said:
Hey how are you? Good? Cool. Thanks so much, have a good one!
This marrying David Archuleta thing is harder than I thought.
Yeah. I met David Archuleta today!!!! Again. So I guess my plan is to just go get his autograph as many times as it takes to get him to fall in love with me. Great plan, huh?
Proof.The CD signing was at this little store in the mall and it wasn't even crowded, but the security people were CRAZY. They wouldn't let anyone stand within like a 20 foot perimeter of the store. They told me I couldn't even take a picture of David. But I did anyways. Gotta be a rebel sometimes!
Those ladies around him meant business...
Had to take a pic with the sign because I didn't get one with him. LAME. 
Thanks to my friend Marci for inviting me to go along with her!!!!I wasn't even nervous this time. It was like I was just talking to some boy I knew. He's a really chill person. But I didn't really say anything that interesting in the 10 seconds I had to talk to him.
How exactly is a girl to convey in a few sentences that "Hey! I'm a fan of yours and I think you're really cute and humble and we are actually the same age and have a lot in common, and I'm a fairly normal person and not a 12 year old fan like these other crazies and I think we should hang out sometime and possibly get married for all eternity" ??
What I really said:
Hey how are you? Good? Cool. Thanks so much, have a good one!
This marrying David Archuleta thing is harder than I thought.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tonight's Gonna be a Good, Good Night!
Confession: I had a rotten week.
For reals guys, I am so glad this week is over. Usually finals don't phase me, but this week they slapped me in the face, and then kicked me in the butt and then pulled my hair and then drop-kicked me. And they won. I readily admit it. It was not pretty. But at least now they are just over!!!!
***cue hallelujah chorus****
And now instead of wallowing in my failure in life, its on to better days! Can I get a HOLLERRR???
Starting with today. Today is going to be a fantastic day because:
a. I am done with my finals!
b. My little sister is flying in tonight!
c. Tonight I am once again going to be in the presence of my future-hubby David Archuleta!!!
This picture is just too good to only be used once on this blog. So I treat you with it again. If it HAD been photo-shopped I'd have to give credit to my sister Jess. But that's totally hypothetical.
Thats right peeps, I'm chillin' with David tonight. Hopefully he will remember me from when I met him over the summer.
Oh heyyyyyy David!!
And when I say "chillin' with David", I really mean "being in the same room as David and 21,000 other people at the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert..." But really that's a small detail to me.
Is there a better way to end a rotten week on a high note than:
Sister love + David Archuleta hotness + Motab + Christmas cheer?
I submit that there is not!
For reals guys, I am so glad this week is over. Usually finals don't phase me, but this week they slapped me in the face, and then kicked me in the butt and then pulled my hair and then drop-kicked me. And they won. I readily admit it. It was not pretty. But at least now they are just over!!!!
***cue hallelujah chorus****
And now instead of wallowing in my failure in life, its on to better days! Can I get a HOLLERRR???
Starting with today. Today is going to be a fantastic day because:
a. I am done with my finals!
b. My little sister is flying in tonight!
c. Tonight I am once again going to be in the presence of my future-hubby David Archuleta!!!
This picture is just too good to only be used once on this blog. So I treat you with it again. If it HAD been photo-shopped I'd have to give credit to my sister Jess. But that's totally hypothetical.Thats right peeps, I'm chillin' with David tonight. Hopefully he will remember me from when I met him over the summer.
Oh heyyyyyy David!!And when I say "chillin' with David", I really mean "being in the same room as David and 21,000 other people at the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert..." But really that's a small detail to me.
Is there a better way to end a rotten week on a high note than:
Sister love + David Archuleta hotness + Motab + Christmas cheer?
I submit that there is not!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A Letter to Ke$ha
Dear Ke$ha,
I know you get a lot of hate from folks about acting really trashy and singing crappy songs that are 98 percent auto-tuned and that are mainly about brushing your teeth with whiskey. You know, they are just being harsh. Ok, so all those things are actually very true, but I’m sure you have a lot of redeemable qualities!
Like, right off the bat, I have to say it’s impressive that you wake up every morning feeling like P. Diddy. I usually wake up every morning feeling like Oscar the Grouch, so I have to give you props girl!
Fresh.
Also, I admire a girl who can get away with saying Po-Po. It’s something that I know I could never be cool saying. Point for Ke$ha!
Ok. Those are your redeemable qualities for now.
But Kesha, you really got to pull it together girl. There are so many things you could do to help your image. First of all, try spelling words correctly from now on. I know you think Tik Tok looks cooler, but it just makes people think you flunked second grade. Also, I really think the brushing your teeth with whiskey thing is going to go awry for you one of these days. While I can’t say I’ve ever tried it, it can’t possibly leave you with the same minty breath as good ol’ Crest, and by now people are probably staying far away from your whiskey breath.
Also, maybe try NOT singing about being a cracked-out alcoholic who lets drunk boys touch your junk. That might also help your image quite a bit.
Also, I am VERY concerned about your eye sight darling.... I think you need some VERY strong glasses. In fact, I would recommend you head to the optometrist right this moment. I mean, you say you kick boys to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.... Have you SEEN Mick Jagger????
Not Ideal Man
Please.... Let it be that you need glasses. And not that your mind is completely warped into thinking this is attractive.
Lastly, Ke$ha, you sweet little angel you…..
WEAR PANTS DANGIT!!!
This picture makes me weep for my generation.
You look like someone who has been homeless for over a year and who salvaged trash bags from a dumpster to sew yourself clothes, but then got in a brutal fight with a cheetah on the way to your concert.
I’m just trying to help you Ke$ha. Really.
And as sweet as you are to tell me that my love is your drug…… honey, I think that straight up DRUGS are your drugs.
Much love,
Amy
Thursday, July 8, 2010
THE DAY I MET DAVID ARCHULETA!
Wednesday July 7, 2010
7:00 am: Alarm goes off and radio begins blaring loudly.
7:45 am: I wake up for the first time to blaring radio. Unconsciousness is a talent.
8:00 am: Remembering that today was the day I was going to meet David and that I had planned to be outside Deseret Book by now, I decide to get out of bed and get ready.
8:15 am: I actually get out of bed to get ready. Hey! I’m not a morning person ok?
9:40 am: I arrive at Deseret Book and scope out the line. It’s not even that long! I was nervous there’d too many people by now. I’m a little concerned that the only people I see are middle aged women and 12 year old girls. But then I’m happy because that means less competition because I’m actually David’s age! Holla!
9:46 am: I set up my little camp chair in line… psyched to start making friends and hang out ‘til my sisters get here.
9:47 am: I realize the girls ahead of me are really annoying. And there is a 50 year old man with a beer-belly behind me. Dang!
10:15 am: Pull out my notebook and begin brainstorming “Things to Say to David”
-Marry me.
-Marry me you beautiful hunk of soulful righteousness.
-Hi David.
-I love you.
10:20 am: Decide it would be best if I stopped brainstorming.
10:25 am: Look in bag for book. I packed A Tree Grows in Brooklyn to work on my goal to read good literature this summer. As an afterthought I also packed Meg Cabot’s cheesy The Boy Next Door. I begin reading The Boy Next Door. Obviously, I am a very cultured girl.
My classy book choice
10:45 am: Begin wondering why the heck my sisters aren’t here yet. But I’m enjoying the ambiance of multiple David Archuleta songs playing from iPhones all around me. Like the sounds of heaven!!
11:15 am: Sisters arrive with Little Caesar’s pizza. We chow down and pack away the stuff to get ready for David!!
11:30 am: Sarah and I head to the stage to get a good spot while Jess holds our place in line. Once we are in full sun, it is DANG HOT.
11:45 am: Anticipation is building. Word is that David is actually IN Deseret Book right now hidden away!! Eeeeeh!
11:50 am: Girls begin screaming at almost anyone coming out of Deseret Book with dark hair. Including a mom with a stroller. Confused old grandmas arriving to buy themselves new scripture cases wonder what the ruckus is about.
12:04 pm: DAVID COMES OUT! Screaming galore!! He jumps on stage and talks in his cute David voice and then starts singing “Crush.” Girls go wild!
TELL ME this doesn't make you crazy!
12:06 pm: In the middle of the song, the girl directly in front of me collapses from the heat onto the asphalt. She was limp almost by my feet, with her face on the hot ground. Ouch!! Her friend starts dumping cold water on her head to cool her down. Someone calls 911. Jess tells them they need to get her into the shade. I join several people to help lift her up.
Here’s the video: About 1:40 in she collapses and then the rest of the video I was just holding my camera up but not actually watching David. Listen for all the people saying "Call 911!" I stopped filming to help her up eventually, being the kindhearted person that I am.
12:10 pm: The girl passing out drama is behind us. I am bummed that I barely got to watch David sing. But then he says he’ll sing another song!! Hooray! And this one was WAY better. Man he can SING!
12:14 pm: My soul melts into goo. My heart explodes into a billion pieces of love. Needless to say, I am VERY glad that I’ve chosen David to be my husband.
12:16 pm: David goes inside and we all get in line for him to sign our book!
Sisters!
Yay for paramedics who come for girls with heat stroke!
12:20 pm: We decide it’s time to start brainstorming something to say to him, since we are about to meet him. I wanted to say something funny that would be memorable and make him laugh. But I FAIL at coming up with something. Sarah suggests “You are a really good singer!” Jess suggests “We came to your concert last summer!” My dad suggests, through a text, “What kind of deodorant do you wear?”
12:21 pm: I make mental note to find a new family.
12:40 pm: We are standing FEET AWAY from David Archuleta! Sarah asks me what I’m going to say. I say “I DON’T KNOW! I’M BLANKING HERE!”
12:42 pm: We meet David Archuleta.
I say, “How are you?”
He says, “Good, how are you?”
I say, “Good. How do you like Las Vegas?”
He says, “I like it!”
I say, “Can we take a picture?”
“Uhhh….”
We take a picture with him anyway. Then leave.
I AM SMOOTH FOLKS. LIKE SILK. AND CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER.
Well, here’s my thinking. It was conversational!!! I mean, when people meet their future husbands for the first time, it’s only natural to ask how they are doing!!! Am I right or am I right???
I am right. Thank you.
He would have fallen madly in love with me. He was just really worn out from seeing all those OTHER girls who WEREN’T his future wife. It’s understandable really. He was exhausted. Those other girls were exhausting ME and I’m not even David Archuleta. Obviously, NEXT time I meet him we will fall madly in love. Once I’m done with school and he is settled in his music career and we are both ready to get married and have beautiful little children.
And then David and I will look back on the day we first met at the Deseret Book and laugh at how awkward and adorable it was. I FINALLY HAVE A REAL NON-PHOTO-SHOPPED PICTURE OF ME WITH DAVID!! And how fitting that the wall behind us is covered in pictures of the temple....
Excuse me while I go pick out our wedding colors...
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