Forgive Yourself.

"You are always so put-together!" a kind girl I barely knew told me recently.

I smiled and thanked her and probably made a little joke about how I'm not... but then I thought about it. Did she really think that? Was I really managing to put out the appearance that I was all together when I usually feel like a hot mess every day of my life?

Its funny how often things aren't what they seem. And it's funny how we, as humans, often go to great lengths to keep our imperfections from the world. How all we see in ourselves are hidden imperfections and all we see in others are their perfections sometimes. Doesn't quite line up, does it?

The girl who gave me the sweet compliment didn't know that a month ago, my life was so busy that I often forgot to eat and sleep because I was so overwhelmed. Most people didn't know that I fell out of bed at 7 am and often worked my way to 2 am with homework assignments and lesson plans. That I often felt like I was running on a treadmill that was set just a little faster than I could manage to run. And no one knew that some days ended with heading to my car late at night, driving to a nearby church parking lot, and calling my mom sobbing because I felt like I couldn't physically keep up with everything on my plate.

I'm grateful when other friends freely admit that they too call their moms and cry sometimes. I'm glad when I get to know someone better and realize that they aren't as perfect as I thought, and then I love them more. I'm relieved when others tell me that they sometimes feel lonely, stressed, inadequate, and self-conscious, because I know I'm not the only one.

I'm glad that this semester has taught me that you can only do so much, and sometimes you have to be at peace with letting things go, like homework assignments you just didn't have enough hours to finish. I'm grateful that I've learned to focus on what is important in life once I didn't have time to focus on the un-important. And I'm glad that I can now appreciate having time to breathe once a lot of the craziness of the semester ended (and yes, I'm enjoying it).

Here's the deal: No one is perfect. Even people who seem perfect. (sometimes I think people are perfect.) Don't be afraid to admit your short-comings. And when you wake up late and have to go to class with wet hair, when you foolishly waste time you didn't have and fall behind in your busy day, when you don't stand up for yourself like you should have, whenever you fall short of being the person you want to be,

FORGIVE YOURSELF.

and then try, try again.