Planner Preoccupation

Yesterday morning at 8 am, I arrived at my classroom, opened my backpack and reached around inside. Suddenly, my heart starting racing wildly, my palms began to sweat intensely, and I started to feel a little light headed. I wondered how I would even survive the day.

No, I didn't have a panic attack; I just realized that I left my planner at my apartment!! For the first time this entire semester! It was terrible.

I don't know how it happened, but over the last few busy months, my planner has become like air to me. I NEED IT TO BREATHE. I've always been a planner-nerd, but this semester has seriously killed some brain cells, because I cannot accomplish anything unless it is scheduled in my planner. I carry my planner with me every day to school, to church, even to the grocery store. IT'S STRAIGHT UP SAD.

It's gotten to the point where I think I would roam the streets of Provo with no purpose in life, eating garbage and drinking out of gutters with a perplexed look on my face if I ever lost it.

I hope I never lose it.

today I put eating breakfast on my to-do list. I would not have done it otherwise.

I am convinced that the greatest feeling in the world is checking off a box on your to-do list. The box just stares at you, menacingly blank inside those four, crisp lines, taunting your inability to get things done. But once you finally achieve a task, all your effort culminates into a neat little X. Proof that you are actually a productive human being. Ahhhh. Feels so good.

Confession: sometimes, when it gets to be bedtime, and there are more boxes unchecked than checked on my to-do list, I write in productive things I did and check them off. It makes me feel better about myself.

Shhh....