My Ninja Reflexes

Once upon a time I was up at BYU as a new freshman, trying to be a cool college kid. I was smiling at people as I walked to classes and eating burgers at the Creamery and going to BYUSA dances. Things were going well, until one day, all my hopes and dreams of being a normal, cool, non-awkward person came crashing down.

I was in my 10:00 Book of Mormon class, just paying close attention and trying really hard to be a good student. A boy came in late, and wandered over and sat in the seat next to me. Let’s call him “Nice Boy.” Things were going great.

Then, all of a sudden, my pencil started rolling off my little fold-down desk, into his direction.

Now, before I continue, I should tell you that sometimes, and only when it’s completely unnecessary and inconvenient, I have reflexes like a ninja. I can’t even control it. Sometimes, when I’m playing ping pong, instead of hitting the ball with the paddle, my other hand will come outta nowhere and grab the ball. I’m always like, whoah! How did that happen! Ninja reflexes I say.

Continuing on:

If I was a more normal person I would have either grabbed the pencil while it was still on my desk, or let it fall and then get it. But am I ever normal? Apparently not!!! As the pencil rolled onto Nice Boy’s leg, my ninja reflexes took over and grabbed NOT only my pencil, but Nice Boy’s ENTIRE THIGH.

If he was dozing off in class, I made sure he was WIDE AWAKE! Really, I was just doing him a favor.