Battle Wounds.

When my alarm went off this morning at 6:30 am, I opened my eyes and realized that it was still mostly dark outside. I groaned and rolled over. And then I realized that I couldn't move my neck. And my back was really stiff. And my knees were throbbing. And then, when I sat up and swung my legs out from under the covers, I noticed brown and green bruises all over my knees.

It was an eventful Labor day, I remembered. But being the humble and subtle person that I am, I will just leave it up to you to decide how I managed to bruise myself up yesterday, resulting in all-over body soreness.

A) I was walking down the street, when I saw a baby crawling out from her front yard, right into the path of an oncoming pickup, so of course I immediately did a ninja dive and scooped the tot up while rolling across the asphalt just in time to dodge certain death.

"don't mention it, baby."

B) I ran a marathon super fast, and tripped and fell just before the finish line, bruising my knees, but then quickly jumped back up and broke through the awesome ribbon, winning the entire race.

this is exactly how I look when I run. yup.

C) I spent the entire day building a home for an elderly couple, placing each floor tile in position on my hands and knees, therefore causing bruising.

it was nothing, really.

D) At IHOP, after eating enough hashbrowns and french toast to sink a ship, I slipped in a puddle of water and fell on some tile.



Once again, I'm not telling you which one is the true story...

ITS UP TO YOU PEOPLE. Decide for yourself. Just keep in mind how cool I am.